My next visit

I was just up for a visit in Delaware and have been back for a week and I can say it solidly feels like I am a Floridian. Hollywood, FL is home already, and I have to admit I'm pleasantly surprised.

Both my parents and I were born and raised in Delware, and I lived away from the First State only once, when I was first married. Both  my sons were born in Manassas, VA. Living there NEVER felt like home, and there are probably a lot of reasons for that. I had found myself whirlwinded into marriage, motherhood, and moving to another state all within a four month period, and top that off with having just turned 20 years old. I felt nothing but 'far away' and spent three years yearning to be back where I felt comfortable.

I also lived near Rehoboth for three years in the early '90's. I look back now and see this as my first venture closer to the the sand and water, but I guess it wasn't far enough away. It was just close enough to feel the distance.

Here, I feel completely comfortable. I was driving around today on errands and realized how freely I navigate my way around. There are still a lot of places to learn, of course, but I know my little part of this world already, and it makes me feel at ease.

I wonder what it is that makes some place feel like home. When I lived near Rehoboth, for example, I knew that area from visits all my life. I knew the roads and where to get everything I needed. But something made me feel lonely, I guess. I never really made any friends in that area, and so living that life was solitary, except for the kids. My love for the atmosphere that I wanted wasn't enough to ever make me feel settled.

Here, I not only love the area but am happy with the life I'm building. I have my boyfriend, Tom, and a few others I've met and it seems like the seeds to a real life. This time, it doesn't feel like I'm looking for things to fill out and define my life, but instead feels like life has begun and I'm watching it grow.